Why I Decided to Write My Own Eulogy…My Farewell Message to a Natural Life
Did you know the what the exact definition of the word ‘eulogy’ is? According to Wikepedia the literal translation is Classical Greek for ‘good words’ pertaining to a speech written in praise of a person or thing, usually one recently deceased or retired. However, it also can praise for someone who is still living on special occasions. The difference between a eulogy and an obituary is that an obituary is simply a death notice, a biography of the deceased without any descriptive embellishments. Eulogies are farewell messages usually delivered by a family member or a close friend.
I decided to write my eulogy for my funeral mainly because, even tough my family and friends would treat my life kindly, I also know they, most probably, will not say some of the unhappy and disappointing things that they might have been carrying around inside. Why? Because isn’t a eulogy supposed to be full of the good and exceptionally positive things about the deceased? This is not reality show time, right? Sure I want the good but I also want some reality. And hey, I’ll be dead so, hopefully, my ego will be non-existent too!
Therefore I will note all the wonderful parts of my life. But I will not ignore the not-so-wonderful parts. After all, isn’t the true measure of one’s life the sum of all it’s parts?
I don’t excuse the fortunate or unfortunate choices I have made. But I want to explain from my heart. Yes, life can be difficult. Reluctantly, we do make poor choices that have hurt others…not actually with the intention to hurt, but being blinded by other thoughts and emotions that should not have taken precedent. Yet within this there are always lessons to be learned. Promises of hope and healing emerge even within hurtful situations. And, with the Universe’s blessings, you might awaken knowing and believing that wonder and bliss will prevail.
When we aren’t aware and continue on without knowing or considering the whys we don’t stop to question ourselves as to why we’re doing this? Why are we choosing this path? Or we make a choice thinking it’s the best choice, at the moment, and, although my long term plans for it are not truly realistic, they are still filled with hopes and dreams for a great outcome.
Another belief I have is that we have a predestined path. I don’t think it’s a straight path. Rather one with twists and turns. These obstacles are there for a reason…to learn. Giving us a chance to do better and, hopefully, not make the same mistakes again in this lifetime and, if you are of the belief, in future lifetimes. Some call this Karma. All leading to enlightenment. The bonus of life’s lessons is that you can learn from these lessons and get a chance to help others. A priceless gift.
Maybe something I will say in my eulogy might enlighten a loved one of mine about me, see a piece of me that they never realized, and give them some peace about an issue that they could not let go of….maybe now peace will fill their hearts instead of resentment or anger.
So when the time of loss comes-whether a spouse, a child (G-d forbid), a job, ideals, abilities, and we’re totally thrown off balance, isn’t this the time we can learn more about ourselves and realize the person we are from the inside out?
Getting back to the main point of this article…I have chosen to write my own eulogy and, if I am blessed and have a long journey on this beautiful earth…I’m sure it will be rewritten a few times over. My best advice is to start from the heart and the rest will follow. Remember, you’ll be dead when your eulogy is read. No one is going to outright argue with you or get all that mad because they know it will be a one-sided argument. The again, maybe that will be a reason for someone to finally let out feelings that have been bottled up for years. Feelings they just couldn’t express to you when you were alive. This is a good thing for, if you truly cared about that person and can still hear them in spirit…maybe now it can be vented and put to rest along side the deceased.They might become your biggest celebrants as it would be a special unique way to touch each other’s hearts with wonderful positive energy.Hopefully, they will look up and say “I love you”…and you might be able to hear it and an ethereal smile will spread across your face.
Helpful Resources: Instant Eulogy Speeches , How to Write & Deliver a Eulogy in Six Simple Steps , Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep: Over 250 Funeral Poems And Readings
Tags:deceased,eulogies,eulogy,farewell message,farewell messages,funeral,good words,obituary,praise,speechRelated posts
Tags: deceased, eulogies, eulogy, farewell message, farewell messages, funeral, good words, obituary, praise, speech
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Quite right, Cynthia. Light and shade make a funeral emotionally honest, true to purpose – real. If we are not impenitent, then those who eulogise us should be unsparing! And there’s a paradox here: some of a person’s most infuriating qualities may also be their most loveable traits.
How much self-knowledge do we actually possess, though? I suspect that, if we ever get to eavesdrop our funeral, we’ll be startled to learn of unsuspected virtues and unacknowledged vices.
Still, your eulogy should certainly give those who mourn you something to lovingly diss you with. It’ll license them to get a few more things off their chests.
And I suspect it’ll be more than balanced by good things!
Thank you Charles. Well said. Listening to someone’s own eulogy might stir up quite and interesting conversation at the same time. Could be quite interesting and thought provoking.